Revenge

About a year or so ago I bought a Subaru. I was pretty stoked on the car but received a rash of shit for driving a hippy ride, even though it was one of the sporty ones. So the guys one day at work thought it would be funny to put a rainbow sticker on my car. I drove around with it for a couple of days, and when I found it, I thought it was pretty funny but tore it off quickly. As I tore it off, I thought to myself

"Ill just buy my time and have my revenge."

Well fast forward to today, almost a year later, and I have my revenge.

Background: I work with this guy, he has been married four times, and has a shit storm of kids. I actually missed one on the sticker. Now if you live outside of Utah you might not understand, but hell, its still funny.

Enjoy!

You watch what they want you to

When we moved into our house I was on the kick of not watching anything negative on TV. I was so fed up with all the propaganda that was being shown on the television that I couldnt stomach it, let alone paying for it.

See I like to choose what I watch, not be victim of paying some corporation tons of money each year just to watch what they want me to. Now I have plenty of family and friends that have TV, they enjoy it, but for me and the wifester, it just doesnt make sense.

Now the wifester enjoys a few TV shows, thankfully for the internet they make it possible for her to watch them. We have made it one year without TV in our house, and with the little grommet soon to arrive, we arent planning on getting it. I like the freed

om of choosing what I watch, when I want, and for however long I want, at a very minimal cost to me.

Thankfully Wimpy is a pirate and I can still get sons of anarchy without any pesky commercials.

Check this out:

coffee? yes please

It has almost been ten months,
ten looooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg months. I miss coffee, I miss feeling awake, I miss spending money, I miss my beloved black water. yummy, stupid goals.

Blast from the past

(Megan, me, the brother)

I just found some pics from a few years back in Lake Powell. Oh the hair, wifester hated the hair, I personally love it. If I could I would grow it back out, but two things would happen.
1. I would get fired
2. I would get divorced.
decisions, decisions.

(summer of 05 Bullfrog Crew)

(another one of the brother, he didn't work down there but this made their newsletter. Our softball team kicked Ticaboos ass! but then again we had three college baseball players on our team, so......)

Damn the Man, I love semantics, errrrr I dont know

Voil‡! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Behold! Before you is a humble stage performer, cast, against his will, by the whims of fate, to the roles of both victim and villain. The face you see now is not just some meaningless costume. It is a remnant of the People's Voice, which has since gone and disappeared. However, this past annoyance stands courageously reborn and has sworn to conquer the evil and corrupt, who promote greed and the violent suppression of free will. The only choice is vengeance; a personal war held as a promise, but not in vain, for the importance and self-evidence of this quest shall one day exonerate the watchful and the righteous. But in truth, this thick soup of words has become too excessive. So, let me simply finish by saying that it's my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me V.~

....................................

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose an effing big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of effing fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing effing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, effed-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

State Champion and a sunburn

(I dont need no stinking trophy!)

Taking two months off of your bicycle and then deciding that it would be a good idea to race one of the most important races in the state is sort of a bad idea. This could be considered reckless for a few reasons: money, health, emotional well being, and it would require me not to be a lazy bum on saturdays. Me being a bum on a saturday is the thing that I do best so this was hard for me.None the less I decided to take last friday off from work to put the bike in the stand and clean it for the first time in two months, this was pretty much the first time I even touched this bike since the national in july. I mean I rode it once, but I use the term "rode" loosely. Any how I had to ride down to wifesters work to pick up turbo, and being back on that bike was awesome, so I then got excited for what the weekend might hold.

(rarely do I race without goggles, but under the lights is gnarly, friday night main event)

Friday night we raced under the lights. The temperature was crisp, and I ended up with seven riders in the gate. I enoy a larger group of people, but everyone I was racing that night was super quick. No worries, I was there to have fun, just so happens when I have fun I win.

Chalk up a "W" for friday night under the lights, ha, friday night lights, ok ok that was lame.

(bb.com, myself, and KP take the first jump)

(me and KP, I guess you could say we have different styles. BBcom went down in the first corner)

Any hooser, Saturday I woke up from what you could call a restless night of turning and kicking in anticipation to do work at the BMX track. I was trailing by one point in the state standings so I had to win out right this day to be crowned state champion. I had to race a couple of ultra fast guys and it turned out that with having a complete blast riding my bike, in turn with the best support crew ever, I didn't lose a lap , and won the state championship race, and title. It was a super fun time, thanks to everyone for their support and awesome encouragement, even though it cost everyone a sunburn. Its much appreciated. I love the Utah BMX the entire scene is a class act!

(me on top of the podium with the loot and the rest of the 28-35 top 10 men)

Yes I'm an asshole

Being a soon to be father has taught me a few things, basically that Im an asshole. If you are thinking about or are about to be a father, read on so you can avoid a few simple mistakes.

First off, sleep on the couch, so much is avoided if you do this. Basically everything.

Hopefully when you find out that you're going to be a father you don't have the same vision I did, (if you dont get this reference watch spaceballs)

Im still freaked out about the little grommet inside kicking the crap out of wifester, but Ill get over it, I hope.

Comments that are best left unsaid.
"You look huge" sometimes I can be so retarded
"you're pretty cute for a pregnant chick" yeah this is the most brilliant thing to say to you pregnant wife who is has been miserable for the past half year
As your wife lifts up her shirt to show you her belly refrain from saying "ah put it away!" yeah that scored me about negative fifty points in the husband of the month club.
"Are you sure its mine?" has this ever worked? EVER?
dont ever call your baby to be an "anchor baby" people for some reason get super offended.

When your wife asks you to take a guess at how much weight she has gained, well fellas this is a trick and you should just run like hell not answer this question. No, not me, I hid behind the corner and peaked around and threw out numbers, I guess I just cant let it be.

I guess though now that were in our seventh month of this adventure I have learned to tone it down a bit. Last night was our first birthing class, I basically kept my mouth shut for two hours. Not because I didnt have stuff to say, but more out of fear that if I opened my mouth the vomit would go everywhere. holy hell people, why would you take the placenta home with you. ahhhhhhhhhhh damnit, I just threw up.

I want a pet bear

(the view outside our hotelish door)

The wifester and I headecd to Island Park over this last weekend, I guess you could say it was our last couple vacation before the grommet gets here, and it was super fun. My thoughts were consumed with the possibility of getting eatin by a bear, or at least seeing one, just ask wifester. I kept telling her that all I had to do is out run her and I was good. Just kidding people, yes I did tell her that, but I wouldnt do that, I mean I have one hell of a single leg take down. Me vs. Bear, bear wins but I score the first two points, take the bitch bear, ha!

(45 MPH through the whole park, effff!)

Anyway, this place wasnt exactly what we had thought it was going to be, but we had tons of fun. A little sight seeing, alot of eating, and minimal cell phone service, those that know me know this is a huge deal being that I pack two cell phones with me at all times.

It was rad to get away for a weekend, wish I wouldn't of had to work on Labor Day, but whatever, it'll pay off one day, right? hope so.

(at least this bison was in the correct lane, people need to take notes from this guy)

on a side note if you guys get a chance check out wimpys blog, shits funny.