no doubt in my mind

Hmmmm, and they wonder why we hate them.

I got your effing big brother right here suckers!

Douchebaggery, its an art.

Ok, so this last weekend it was go time to find a new ride. This means that I have been peeping cars online for at least a couple of weeks, and I had a few that I wanted to take a gander at. I am no novice car shopper. I have bought four vehicles in three years, we have it down to a science and know what we like, and now after a few eye openers, know the questions to ask, and what to look for. So imagine my excitement having a total douche bag for a car salesman.

So if you're going to try and sale me a car that has the following wrong with it, well Ill get to that in a minute, first the list ( I effing love lists!):

Cracked windshield-wont pass inspection

crazy motor shake

cracked rear lights both clear and red-wont pass inspection

tons of dings and dents

the right side of the trunk was not flush with rest of car, almost 1 1/2 inches difference

strange spray over, almost like it had been repainted. though I was promised it wasnt

filthy inside, found some CD's though.

I could go on, but you get the gist of it.

So this poor, starving, college student told me that he went to Weber, was in in the Photography department and this is how he was paying for college. Well, first off, this was the same night we (the Aggies) were playing Weber in mens basketball, so instantly I hated him. Then he tried to explain just how fast this particular car was going to sale. Umm, not exactly. He asked us what we were doing later that day and we explained that we were going to go pick up a tv for my father in laws dad, and he the told me "oh man, my roommate and I just picked up a 50 inch LED samsung". This peaked my interest, because when I was in college, yes I spent a ton of money, but never had enough to buy a big ass TV.

After pulling off the freeway, which we were only on for a mile or two, the check engine light came on. I was over it. Pulled the piece of shit back into the lot and tried to plan our escape. He then told me he was going to go get the carfax, instead came back out and introduced us to the "owner". Now this Howie Mandell look alike pufta deserved to get drop kicked right off the start. This guy started hounding me harder than a dog with a cat in a tree. "what can I do to earn your business? what do you not like about the car?" me "everything!"

He kept going and I could smell the stale cigarettes and coffee on his breath, oh dear lord help me. The "owner" then told me "Im going to go ask my boss if I can do better on the price" Wait a minute, arent you the owner? Im so confused. The original car salesman came back out, without the car fax again and gave me one last spiel "by buying this car from us today you are supporting a locally owned and operated business and would help out a poor college student."

I puked right there. Eff you! Thats what I wanted to say, but rather I just said thanks for their time, and then bitched about it for the next three to four hours.

Thanks for wasting my time douchebags. I dont support poor college students that have bigger TV's than me. What ever happened to selling something that didnt suck? OH well, I bought a better car from someone else, so they can SUCK IT! Picture to come whenever I decide to take my lazy ass out into the cold and take a photo.

stop yelling at me

Hey look, its the grommet.

Now just imagine how good she is going to look with some new Oakleys.

Why Thanks

Thanks to steapandcheap.com, I am upgrading from four year old Oakly Gascans to these:


Be Jealous!

The kid to be is now a..............

The kid to be is now a kid that is! The grommet has arrived safe and sound, and you know what? I kinda like her. I think were going to be homies, and in a couple of months and were gonna ride bikes together. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my little grommet.

HI,meet me, Im super awesome

HI, meet me, Im super awesome

I have to tell myself that everyday in the winter because in all reality, there are only three good things that happen in the winter. Snowboarding, indoor BMX, and Aggie basketball. Be that these things dont get to happen everyday, I have to resort to self help talk. Let me give you a run down on how my mornings usually start:

chirpy side of me : "good morning sunshine"
the realist side of me : "SUCK IT!"
csom: "lets get this show on the road slappy"
trsom: "why dont you throw yourself along with that show in the fireplace"
csom: "you have stuff to do, so lets get going"

at this point I start moving but mumble
"why do you hate me so much, Im tired and just want to lay here for a couple more minutes, you suck"

I find my dog in the dark and decide to lay down with him "oh hello jib, Im tired too, lets just lay here all day"

csom : "lets roll"
trsom: "eff off"

reluctantly making it to the stereo I push play, shower, shave, brush my teeth, get dressed, pet my dog, put my shoes on, before turning the lights off to head out the door, I look in the mirror and my realist side says "youre a handsome devil, whats your name?"

morning off and rolling.

eff winter