Damn the Man, I love semantics, errrrr I dont know

Voil‡! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Behold! Before you is a humble stage performer, cast, against his will, by the whims of fate, to the roles of both victim and villain. The face you see now is not just some meaningless costume. It is a remnant of the People's Voice, which has since gone and disappeared. However, this past annoyance stands courageously reborn and has sworn to conquer the evil and corrupt, who promote greed and the violent suppression of free will. The only choice is vengeance; a personal war held as a promise, but not in vain, for the importance and self-evidence of this quest shall one day exonerate the watchful and the righteous. But in truth, this thick soup of words has become too excessive. So, let me simply finish by saying that it's my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me V.~

....................................

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose an effing big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of effing fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing effing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, effed-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

State Champion and a sunburn

(I dont need no stinking trophy!)

Taking two months off of your bicycle and then deciding that it would be a good idea to race one of the most important races in the state is sort of a bad idea. This could be considered reckless for a few reasons: money, health, emotional well being, and it would require me not to be a lazy bum on saturdays. Me being a bum on a saturday is the thing that I do best so this was hard for me.None the less I decided to take last friday off from work to put the bike in the stand and clean it for the first time in two months, this was pretty much the first time I even touched this bike since the national in july. I mean I rode it once, but I use the term "rode" loosely. Any how I had to ride down to wifesters work to pick up turbo, and being back on that bike was awesome, so I then got excited for what the weekend might hold.

(rarely do I race without goggles, but under the lights is gnarly, friday night main event)

Friday night we raced under the lights. The temperature was crisp, and I ended up with seven riders in the gate. I enoy a larger group of people, but everyone I was racing that night was super quick. No worries, I was there to have fun, just so happens when I have fun I win.

Chalk up a "W" for friday night under the lights, ha, friday night lights, ok ok that was lame.

(bb.com, myself, and KP take the first jump)

(me and KP, I guess you could say we have different styles. BBcom went down in the first corner)

Any hooser, Saturday I woke up from what you could call a restless night of turning and kicking in anticipation to do work at the BMX track. I was trailing by one point in the state standings so I had to win out right this day to be crowned state champion. I had to race a couple of ultra fast guys and it turned out that with having a complete blast riding my bike, in turn with the best support crew ever, I didn't lose a lap , and won the state championship race, and title. It was a super fun time, thanks to everyone for their support and awesome encouragement, even though it cost everyone a sunburn. Its much appreciated. I love the Utah BMX the entire scene is a class act!

(me on top of the podium with the loot and the rest of the 28-35 top 10 men)

Yes I'm an asshole

Being a soon to be father has taught me a few things, basically that Im an asshole. If you are thinking about or are about to be a father, read on so you can avoid a few simple mistakes.

First off, sleep on the couch, so much is avoided if you do this. Basically everything.

Hopefully when you find out that you're going to be a father you don't have the same vision I did, (if you dont get this reference watch spaceballs)

Im still freaked out about the little grommet inside kicking the crap out of wifester, but Ill get over it, I hope.

Comments that are best left unsaid.
"You look huge" sometimes I can be so retarded
"you're pretty cute for a pregnant chick" yeah this is the most brilliant thing to say to you pregnant wife who is has been miserable for the past half year
As your wife lifts up her shirt to show you her belly refrain from saying "ah put it away!" yeah that scored me about negative fifty points in the husband of the month club.
"Are you sure its mine?" has this ever worked? EVER?
dont ever call your baby to be an "anchor baby" people for some reason get super offended.

When your wife asks you to take a guess at how much weight she has gained, well fellas this is a trick and you should just run like hell not answer this question. No, not me, I hid behind the corner and peaked around and threw out numbers, I guess I just cant let it be.

I guess though now that were in our seventh month of this adventure I have learned to tone it down a bit. Last night was our first birthing class, I basically kept my mouth shut for two hours. Not because I didnt have stuff to say, but more out of fear that if I opened my mouth the vomit would go everywhere. holy hell people, why would you take the placenta home with you. ahhhhhhhhhhh damnit, I just threw up.

I want a pet bear

(the view outside our hotelish door)

The wifester and I headecd to Island Park over this last weekend, I guess you could say it was our last couple vacation before the grommet gets here, and it was super fun. My thoughts were consumed with the possibility of getting eatin by a bear, or at least seeing one, just ask wifester. I kept telling her that all I had to do is out run her and I was good. Just kidding people, yes I did tell her that, but I wouldnt do that, I mean I have one hell of a single leg take down. Me vs. Bear, bear wins but I score the first two points, take the bitch bear, ha!

(45 MPH through the whole park, effff!)

Anyway, this place wasnt exactly what we had thought it was going to be, but we had tons of fun. A little sight seeing, alot of eating, and minimal cell phone service, those that know me know this is a huge deal being that I pack two cell phones with me at all times.

It was rad to get away for a weekend, wish I wouldn't of had to work on Labor Day, but whatever, it'll pay off one day, right? hope so.

(at least this bison was in the correct lane, people need to take notes from this guy)

on a side note if you guys get a chance check out wimpys blog, shits funny.

Imaho?

(The rodeo we attended Saturday night, so awesome)

Went to Idaho this weekend and man was it a trip! Wimpy had bought us tickets to go see my all-time favorite band Social Distortion at the Knitting Factory in Boise, and we have been patiently waiting for months for this weekend to arrive. A little while back Wimpy also bought Huck a ticket, but because Huck is a gigantic poser he didnt come with and I stood through the whole concert with an extra ticket in my pocket. Your loss Huck. Anyhow, Social Distortion melted peoples faces off friday night and it was nothing short of amazing. Wimpy bought the kid to be a little present at the concert but you will have to wait to see that.

(Mike Ness rockin faces off, but I didnt take this photo cause Im a retard)

(They'll fry anything in Idaho)

(Typical Wimpy Parking)

So from what I gather there is a schnack ton of underage girls pregant in Idaho, Wimpy and I just sat there and guessed ages, I would say 16 was the average guesstimate.

"this is the type of town where parents are happy when their kids tell them their gay, their just happy that they dont have to worry about raising their kids children." -Wimpy

Now I am one to waste some time for sure, but if you put me and Wimpy together we are incredible at doing nothing, and providing ourselves with copious amounts of fun. Here are a few things that I learned from the weekend:

1. Wimpy sucks at parking

2. Idaho should be renamed to underageho

3. New Plymouth Idaho Population 1400-Freakin Awesome!

4. I really need to start eating better

5. Bronco nation is crazy and I fear the upcoming onslaught of a game between USU and BSU

6. lists suck but your reading it, haha

7. Wild cow milking, holy hell I have never laughed so hard at the misfortune of an animal

8. They start em young in Idaho

9. Wimpy could quite possibly go down as the most witty person ever

10.Still love Rodeos

11. When I say that it smells like propane and Wimpy says its grey water, trust me its propane and were still alive because of me

(This is Wimpys deep fried Snickers, he said he was less of a man for eating it)

All and all it was a great weekend and I was glad to be home. Thanks to Wimpy and G-MA Wimpy for the hospitality. Oh yeah, were going to see Social D in October too!

Reunion? nah

This past weekend was one of my ten year reunions at one of my high schools that I attended, good ol Carbon High. To be honest I was a bit confused why I even received an invite, seeing as how I graduated high school from Woods Cross in North Salt Lake. It crossed my mind for about a split second to go, but then my logical more hateful side came through and I came to my senses. We'll see if we go to the Woods Cross reunion, but honestly dont really care.

Last month was the national, lets just say it was a rough weekend, and Im still a little bitter, but I still had some fun,

(probably the only thing I did right this weekend, this gate)

Anyhow I love my life, my wife, my kid to be, my dog, my family, my friends, and tattoos. So have a good day and we'll catch you on the flipside.